There’s a trick to the “graceful exit.” It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out.

- Ellen Goodman

I am afraid this is the end of Phoenix Tearz. I wish I had a better way to say it, some lengthy prose about my time spent here/etc., but really, this is all I can come up with:

I have been considering closing this site for awhile now for various reasons, but turned against the thought. It seemed too painful to consider, PT having been a part of my life for almost four years (to the best of my reckoning) but I cannot deny the truth any longer: I have not the heart (or time) to pour so much attention into this site as it received as of old, and I would rather it not sit and rot for five months before I touch it again, expecting things to be the same as they once were, to pick up where I long left off while a deep black void hangs inbetween the disconnection and the reconnection. I want to go out with a BANG! so to say, instead of a whisper of neglect.

Recently, too, I have realized something: the site has truly been gone for many months now. My lack of dedication to it beginning awhile ago should have been an acknowledged sign, but it wasn’t: from now on I am heeding all such signs instead of ignoring them. Phoenix Tearz is done and over with: I cannot drag it on any longer.

School has taken up most of my time as of late; four days a week of class, homework, and maintaining my B/B+ average is very time-consuming business, and my first priority. I love my affiliates, the experiences I’ve had with this site, and the knowledge (graphic- and coding-wise) I’ve acquired, but I believe there is an end for everything: PT has now reached its end.

However, before the protests and pleading starts, I will inform you of a bit of happier, exciting news: I plan to open a new site. I don’t know when this will be–PT will remain online until then. I first need to come up with a name, and make a layout, and buy a new hosting service–Yahoo!, my current host, doesn’t allow .htaccess files and therefore makes it impossible for me to take advantage of many recently-discovered (but incredibly useful) Wordpress features. I can’t say when I’ll get a new site; my class ends next week, and then I have only a short amount of time before my friend Hope visits from Maryland, but I’m going to have a month-long break before fall quarter starts, so hopefully I can work on any new site-business then.

Here are a few facts concerning this ‘new site’ I will open that I think need to be stated:

1. I will still accept affiliates, but I will be much more selective of whom I choose this time. I may not keep all of my old affiliates; I do not mean to offend anyone, but I really don’t have the time to leave comments to 20+ sites each week and get half as many replies, some in the form of one-liners. I have enjoyed having so many affiliates, but I just don’t have the time for the responsibility any more. Therefore, only my closest online friends will remain affiliates. (If they still want to: I will discuss it all when the time for the opening of my new site draws nearer.)
2. I will still have some free content, but only a few things I deem worthy of keeping. I want to offer more useful, well-written tutorials, mostly for Wordpress customization. I will not have brushes/gradients/color palettes/etc. any more; think more along the lines of WP themes, WP icons, RSS icons, tutorials, articles, etc.
3. Slightly reiterating what I’ve said above, my new site will be a personal/blog site only with a little visitor content; it will not under any circumstance be a ‘free graphic site’ or anything similar.
4. I’m hoping to kick it up a notch, so to speak, with this new site; I want to branch out in terms of design, Wordpress functionality, SEO, better validation, etc. I want to include jQuery. I want it to be the best site I’ve ever designed/coded by far.
5. It may take a while for the new site to open: know that it will eventually come. The delay might be not only because of my schedule, but also because of my inability to quickly come up with a new domain name! I am afraid I over-think everything and am terrible at making quick decisions; I am tiring of ‘Phoenix Tearz’ (and the pre-teen-ish ‘z’ tacked onto the end of the title,) and want to come up with a name I will, hopefully, never tire of; at least not in the near future. Bear with me!

That’s about it, I think; but before I end this post/notice, I want to say a big thank you to all my affiliates, site visitors, commentors, and the like: your support has kept PT going as long as it has, and nothing will ever, ever be forgotten. I take comments and kindness deeply to heart, and I will always fondly remember the years I spent updating and maintaining this site.

If I have anything else to report, I’ll post it here; I’m turning comments off for now, though. If you want to get in touch with me regarding this post and the changes coming, or anything else, please do so via my contact form because your message is guaranteed not to be considered SPAM, if sent in that way! Affiliates, if you know my email, you can also just send me a plain email; I have most of your email addresses in my address book, so your message won’t go into the SPAM folder!

Well, for now: farewell!

6/26: I was browsing around PNWA’s online weekly publication, Author Minute, and came across this article: The Horse Ate the Alligator: Following the Rules…unless you don’t want to (by Jennifer Paros). It is a short piece questioning the influence of the universal “Right” and “Wrong” on one’s writing. I’ve always felt that it is most important to write for myself before considering the opinions of others’; this article only makes me more determined to keep believing so. It’s well worth a read, in my opinion: so check it out!

Songs of the Moment: Disturbia - Rihanna¹ ; Viva la Vida - Coldplay; How I Could Just Kill A Man - Charlotte Sometimes; and Someone to Save You - OneRepublic

I’m going to try to remember to keep up this new ’song of the moment’ idea; I thought it might be sort of interesting, for visitors to my current favorite songs…I’ve been purchasing from iTunes practically daily, so I should be able to keep listing new songs.

Regarding the PNWA Literary Contest

Today I received my two critiques in the mail, for the story I submitted for this year’s contest. They are chiefly positive and encouraging: I don’t want to copy exactly what was written, because that would seem like a more stealthy form of plagiarism, but I will point out one positive comment at the end that I took very much to heart:

Overall, this writer is developing an interesting story that, when finished, will have a strong appeal to YA audiences.

That completely made my day. I doubt they’re reading this, but I sincerely thank both people–whoever you are–who took the time to give me such detailed feedback on my writing.

I guess I can’t explain exactly how world-shaking this feels for me. Writing is what I want to do for the rest of my life–of course it’s incredibly important to me–and knowing that professionals feel I’m capable of becoming an author…it only makes me even more determined, and excited, to keep working.

Regarding Running Start: College!

I started my first official college course–Algebra 1–today! The teacher seems very pleasant–she smiles all the time, and I can tell she really wants her students to understand and enjoy learning–and the other students are friendly. It’s strange, because during the two- or three-week period that led up to this day, I kept wondering about this class: what it would be like, if it would make a good first impression on me–and I on it–and just in general how I would feel about it. It seemed like such a big deal: college! However, now that the first day is behind me…I don’t see the big deal anymore. Yes, it’s quite a change, and an important one at that: but the actual process of going to school, studying, learning, doing homework…it’s doesn’t feel as new to me as I expected it would. This realization surprises me, but it’s more than welcome.

I don’t think I need to warn anyone: whenever you hear the word ‘college’ you mentally associate the word ‘homework’ (and probably ‘work’, too) with it. At least, this is what I assume. So it shouldn’t be news to anyone that I won’t have as much time online anymore. I’ll still blog, and work on the site when I can–really, as of recently I haven’t been the ever-diligent webmistress I used to be, so it’s not that big a change anyway.

Regarding Ellensburg, WA

Recently, my parents and I took a day trip to one of our favorite towns: Ellensburg. With a population of 15,000+, it’s a decent-sized town: the official downtown is beautiful and historical, with many old brick buildings, tree-lined streets, and a general old-time charm. I took several pictures (from the car) of the drive to and from Ellensburg, and I thought I’d post them here: I think they turned out pretty well, for being taken in the car! Baby never fails me. Hover over the photos for a short description of each one.

To end this picture-filled post, I’ll tag another photo: this one was taken in my backyard. The model was incredibly cooperative. I took this (and several others) through the closed window, and I’m surprised with how well they turned out!

I hope by the next photo post I’ll have acquired an image-viewing plugin: the organizationalist in me cringes at my sloppy attaching-images-in-post laziness; hopefully I’ll improve next time!

Oh–I almost forgot. I also changed my CSS around a bit–again. I drew a cute little magnifying glass to replace the ’search’ button, too. It’s not perfect–I need to figure out a way to align it better–but I like it better than a boring button. I know what you’re thinking: she’s CSS-obsessed. I am. And I proudly admit it!

1. The title of this post is actually a snippet from the lyrics of this song.

Before reading this post, please go visit my new affiliate Ellen from Fairytaled and comment and show some love!

Yes…it’s been awhile. Rest assured, I haven’t been body-snatched by an earth-raiding alien, or taken hostage by gorilla guy, or anything. (If, however, you want to read about body-snatching, I would suggest picking up The Host, by one of my favorite authors, Stephenie Meyer, of Twilight Saga fame. I’m nearly finished with the novel, which she has described as “science fiction for people who don’t like science fiction” and I must say, though it can’t top Twilight, it’s definitely going to be added to my ‘favorite novel’ list sometime soon!) I’ve been very preoccupied coming up with my class schedule for Running Start, and as it’s a very important decision, I needed to take my time. But now that I’ve finished registering for classes, signing various acceptance forms (that usually state the same information with maybe one or two minor differences,) and trying to narrow down my list of fifty-seven desired courses to a meager twenty-one, I’m back and ready to blog!

Regarding Updates!

I have a small update for you all: two new RSS icon styles! First, we have the ever-so-popular square style in a smaller form, and, secondly, the slightly-more-original circular style, also in miniature. View the small square RSS icons here, and the small circle RSS icons here. I really appreciate everyone’s enthusiasm on my newest graphically-inclined endeavor. RSS icons are very fun to make; the styles you can apply to them are limitless, they’re small and don’t take up much space on my hard disc, and I can whip dozens out in an hour! All big bonuses when you’re pressed for time, as I currently am. Also, speaking of icons…I’m hoping to (finally) make some New Moon-themed icons in the near future. They will be channeling the style of my Twilight icons–with the book cover, faded, in the background, and a word-only quote in the foreground. I retrieved many, many quotes from the book awhile back, and I’m excited to make more icons to support my favorite book series!

Regarding the Twilight Movie….

If you’re just as excited as I am for the release of the Twilight Movie, but are afraid you won’t be able to last until the December 12th release date, why don’t you check out this awesome Twilight clip? The scene was first aired live on the MTV Movie Awards, but now it’s available for your viewing pleasure on their website! As far as I can tell, if the rest of the movie is as dramatic, intense, and…addictive…as this clip is, this film is going to be the first part in another hugely successful movie franchise!

Regarding Running Start

For those curious returning guests, I have come up with my schedule of academic goals (my fancy way of saying ‘classes’) for the next two years of my life as a college student. I will be going to college for my Associates degree, so I have a total of 90 credits to earn (plus a few extra Math courses I unfortunately have to take.) Here is a list of all the courses I plan on taking, as long as they’re available:

1. Introductory Algebra I
2. Introductory Algebra II
3. Intermediate Algebra
4. Introduction to Programming
5. English Composition I
6. Introduction to Literature
7. Folklore: Myth, Folktale, and Legend
8. Expository Writing I
9. Survey of Anthropology
10. Comparative Religion
11. History of Civilization I, II, and III
12. Introduction to Philosophy
13. Philosophy in Literature
14. Introduction to the Weather (Meteorology)
15. Global Climate Change
16. Spanish I
17. General Psychology
18. Introduction to Sociology
19. Introduction to Astronomy

That concludes the all-too-short (in my opinion) list. As I said before, I originally, after perusing the course catalog, came up with a list of fifty-seven courses I was interested in. As you may have guessed, I had to make deep cuts. I’m still very excited about all the courses I am going to take; I have broad interests, and I can’t wait to learn more about the subjects I’m interested in. (Math excluded, of course. That’s strictly necessity!) If you’re curious about all the English courses (four in total) that I’ll be taking…well, I want to transfer to a four-year college after I get my Associates degree, and major in English Literature. Naturally, English is my favorite subject, not only because I’m a stickler for proper grammar, and often find myself correcting others’ usage whether or not help was asked of me, I also want to be an author…and being an English Lit major seemed a rational decision, because of that.

Regarding the Conclusion of this Post

I need to get to bed now, but I’ll comment all my loyal affiliates and friends ASAP. I want to specifically thank my wonderful affiliate Danielle for posting the entire Breaking Dawn chapter on my blog so I could read it! I did indeed read it, but I took it off the comments page because it was very long and was stretching the page quite a bit.

Oh–just a quick tidbit. Soon I will receive my critiques for my entry in the PNWA 2008 Literary Contest. I submitted part of a Young Adult novel (fantasy) I’ve been working on. When I get the critiques, I’ll post something about it up here, so everyone can know what the response to my writing was. I’m very excited! Hopefully the feedback is positive. If not…well, maybe I’ll paraphrase a bit. Just kidding.