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The Truth About Homeschooling

Everything on this is my opinion, and though I'm sure its words ring true for many other homeschoolers, I don't claim I know how every other homeschooler acts, and what they believe. I'm not just ranting off about a subject that irks or annoys me; I do, in fact, know what I'm talking about: I think I would, being homeschooled all my life. Of course, I don't intend to offend anyone, but I'm sure someone, some day, will be offended. The only motives I have for writing this article are those to hopefully enlighten a few people about homeschooling, the way I do it.

Why am I even bothering writing this article? I suppose I feel that homeschooling is a subject that rarely anyone in the world truly understands. Everything about it is assumed, unless someone knows exactly what they're talking about--assumption is usually a bad thing, you know how the saying goes, correct? I have been homeschooled all my life, and these are some of the many assumptions that have been made against me and my family, because of what we do:

Lies

And some people don't even form an opinion on the subject; or they do, internally, and don't say anything; which I suppose is polite, but is not understanding something completely excusable?

What does Homeschooling mean to you? If you saw a child or teenager out in public at 1:30 PM, on a Monday, not on a holiday, and you asked why they weren't in school, and they replied that they were homeschooled, what would your mind immediately think of that answer? What assumptions would it form about this person? Would you frown, not understanding, would you pretend to smile, pretend to be polite? Would you simply nod and move on? Or would you stay and talk a bit? Or something else?

According to Wikipedia, "Especially in the English-speaking nations, homeschooling is an option for parents who wish to provide a quality of education or social environment that they believe is unattainable in schools." Now, what do you think of that paragraph? I'm not going to make assumptions here. Some will probably think it's incredibly rational to homeschool; others may act neutral on the subject, and others still yet may form a slight (or not slight) opinion that homeschoolers think they're somehow better than private and public-schooled children. And I cannot speak for all the homeschooled people in the world, but with me at least, this is certainly not the case.

Isn't it obvious that both public and private schools are not perfect? They have many flaws--early days, piles of homework, bullies, cliques--I could go on with that list. If I told you that homeschooling had none of these flaws, would you believe me? If I told you that homeschooling had no flaws at all, would you believe me? Well, you shouldn't. Homeschooling is not perfect, and contrary to popular belief, it is not so much easier than public/private school. Yes, there aren't early mornings/bullies/etc.; there may be homework, depending on the parents that do the teaching, and their preference. Usually, when I tell someone I'm homeschooled, they immediately say 'Oh lucky' or 'I wish I were homeschooled!' or 'Wow, you must get to, like, sleep all day huh?' etc. In fact, homeschooling is hard work; maybe even just as hard, or harder, than public and private schooling. Why? I'll give you a list, since I so love lists:

7 Reasons Why Homeschooling Is Just As Hard (Or Harder) Than Public & Private Schooling:

  1. Believe it or not, we have to get up in the morning, too; I can't just sleep in until twelve noon. Sure, I've never gotten up at five A.M. consistently, but I consider this being healthy, not lazy or irresponsible. Just because I get up a couple hours later than most public students do doesn't mean I can't get anything accomplished in a day.
  2. Do you know how many distractions you have when you're doing school work at home? Television, parents cooking meals, parents stopping in to ask you questions, animals jumping on your lap, and simply the temptation that you're in the comfort of your own home, where your computer, books, magazines, etc. are residing as well. You have to have fairly good self-control to not slack off.
  3. People always assume things about you, and sometimes it can be hard to stand tall and be proud of what you do; even though I am, deep inside, I've had my doubts about my schooling methods before, and sometimes those doubts have been encouraged by suspicious individuals. How many public/private schooled students get flack for where they go to school, or how they're taught? I'll leave that for you to answer.
  4. As a homeschooler, you're often pressured to be smarter, book-wise, than private/public schoolers; why, I cannot understand; homeschoolers are just regular kids, like everyone else; I myself am not so confident in my mathematical skills, and I'm naturally slow at math; if anyone quizzes me on it, I literally get an instant brain freeze and cannot answer their questions, and just sit there, stuttering, because I'm afraid I will be poked fun of, because by my reaction it's assumed I don't know any math: I do know a lot of math, but when I'm interrogated or put on-the-spot I can't remember what I've learned. Just because I do my schooling in a private, somewhat sheltered environment, doesn't mean I'm a genius. Some homeschoolers might be; but most probably aren't. It also doesn't mean I'm unintelligent, either.
  5. It's hard to get into college, isn't it? How hard do you think it would be if you're homeschooled through all of high school, and you don't have a 'regular' high school diploma? Wouldn't it be just that much harder to prove yourself? What about getting a job: who do you think a boss would pick first, someone who's got a high school diploma and graduated with fairly decent grades, or a homeschooler who has a GED or parent-issued diploma? Lots of establishments, schools, and individuals regard the GED with distaste, viewing it as the 'slacker's diploma', as something you can pass if you've dropped out of high school and are trying to get your life back together. And while this is true, the GED is also an opportunity for homeschooled students to be issued the equivalent of a high school diploma: yes, the equivalent. It shouldn't be criticized or looked down on, but it often is.
  6. No one wants to be called unsocial or a loner, correct? How many kids are given these stereotypes because they're homeschooled, do you think? I am one of them--I'm naturally more of an introvert, but that doesn't I can't handle social situations, or I have no good friends, or nobody likes me; on the contrary, I love going out in public, am fascinated by people of all sorts, have several friends I consider friends for life, and think I am a fairly well-liked person because I have a good attitude. I have three good friends who are homeschooled/were homeschooled and, if you asked them, I would bet they'd say they had this assumption put upon them at one point or another, too.
  7. Because of the doubts of others, it's pretty easy to doubt yourself, isn't it? Sometimes, I will admit, I've desperately wondered if I should quit homeschooling and sign myself up for a 'regular' school; simply because of the feeling that it might get me to a better place in the future. But then I stop myself and remind myself how much I truly love what I've done all my life. Peer pressure is hard to resist, but resist it I do; what matters most, my education and comfort, or someone else's opinion? Obviously, the former. But everyone has doubts in life, and that's one of the main things that makes homeschooling the same, technically, as any other type of schooling. You doubt yourself sometimes, you doubt what you know, you doubt your abilities...but eventually you have to pick yourself up and move on. It doesn't matter where you go to school: you're always going to have someone, somehow, trying to bring you down. Sometimes that 'someone' may just be yourself.

Now that we've seen some of the downsides of homeschooling, what about some of the benefits? Homeschooling isn't perfect, that much I've already stated; but, for me and many other kids and young adults, it's a method of schooling that fits their lifestyle and personality. In my opinion, the benefits outweigh the negative aspects, but that's because being homeschooled is perfect for who I am, what I want to accomplish in life, and how I live my life. It wouldn't be the perfect situation for everybody, obviously, because everybody is different, but these are some of the good things about it that I've noticed over the years.

7 Reasons Why I Love Being Homeschooled!

  1. Homeschooling has helped boost my confidence. As stated above a little ways, I do have moments; I falter occasionally. But I like how I look, I like who I am, I don't constantly worry about changing myself/my features/my weight/etc. Not that I'm saying all private/public school students are extremely insecure; but, without sounding uppity, I believe I am more self-assured than a good majority of people my age. Isn't it good to feel good about yourself? Do you know how much it helps you as a person? I believe homschooling has helped me be confident because I am not surrounded by others telling me how to be myself; I learned how to be myself by learning about myself, because I was given the room to grow and discover who I am, instead of being bowed under others' influences. I don't have nearly as much pressure in my life as most other kids do, to look a certain way, to act a certain way, to do this, to do that, etc. Peer pressure comes from everywhere--your family, your friends, the media--but a lot of it, let's be honest, comes from school. And, by being homeschooled, I can avoid it, which to me is well worth the sacrifice of a day-to-day social life with a bunch of random people whom I might not even speak to in five years.
  2. I've learned to realize things I'm incredibly interested in, and I've had the time to pursue them; web-design and writing are my two examples. I write, in my books, for two hours each weekday morning, before schoolwork starts; I'm dead serious about trying to start a writing career for myself, sooner rather than later, and I am lucky to have the time to put into it; along with the time comes dedication. Writing in the morning also helps clear my thoughts; I find I actually do better with schoolwork after I've written successfully, because my mind is pleased with itself, has accomplished something so soon in the day, so important. I know, if I were in public or private school and had tons of homework, I wouldn't have time for this self-discovery and self-fulfillment.
  3. I get to be with my mother and my animals every day, when most kids would be at school. I actually love and adore my mother, and my pets, and they brighten my days up; if I am upset because I am not understanding something, I can go give Skippy a hug, or ask my mom to help me, and both things work very successfully to bring me out of a bad mood. My mother has mostly been my teacher, all my life; and she and I have a bond that I would never trade for anything else. My father has taught me some, too; and because of him and his encouragement, I have developed an extreme love for history, like he has; he often watches my history lesson DVDs with me, and he grades all my history papers, and we sometimes have long, hour-or-more discussions about a certain time in history, or a certain topic. I also have a deep bond with him--again, one I would never trade in.
  4. Even if I am learning something I'm not so keen on learning, it is at my own pace; I have no deadlines, no rushing, no homework due by the next morning; if I struggle with something, I can work it out and try my best to actually understand it, and take as much time as I need. Not only do I have a better chance of coming to understand something that previously confused me, but I also have less stress, because I don't have to try to teach myself something in an extremely timely manner.
  5. Of course, not going to a public or private school, I've never had to deal with 'mean girls': bullies, snobs, cliques, and just general brats. So many girls, even the older ones like myself, have trouble with other girls; I am thoroughly glad I've never had to put up with anything mean girls have thrown at me; sure, maybe I am missing an experience that would help strengthen me, but in my mind, I have no time for such useless, pointless frivolities and would rather not bother at all.
  6. I can't get expelled, suspended, or get detention. :) Certainly that's a plus?
  7. I am lucky enough to never get homework--I never have--and I have become a strong believer in banishing homework for good. (Not that I think this will ever happen, though....) Because of this, I have many free hours after school, and this is when I write more, or work on web design, or read, etc. Because of this extra time, I have become a fluent writer and reader: I have read, last time I counted, at least 400 books (probably near 450 now) in my life, and am a very good reader, and thoroughly love to read; the same goes for web design and writing.

Interested? Or perhaps, surprised? Have all your assumptions about homeschooling just been contradicted? Maybe.

What's the key point, the lesson-learned, of this article? Ready for it?

Homeschooling has it's ups and downs; it might be the perfect solution for some, the worst nightmare for others. Being happy as a homeschooler depends on your personality, and what you want to accomplish with school and learning. And, also, it's really not that different from public or private schools. You're still learning new things. You're still complaining about subjects you don't take to, still having to solve difficult problems. The only difference, really, is that you're doing all this at home, by yourself, instead of at a school with hundreds or thousands of other students.

Another point I think I should address, is that homeschooling is not in any way the 'right way' for everyone. Some people would probably, like me, love homeschooling; others would probably hate it. It's all about and based on the individual's personality and what they want. You don't know until you try, either; if you know what you like, then you could guess how you'd rather be schooled, but making assumptions such as 'homeschooling is completely horrible' or 'homeschooling is the only way to go; other schools are pathetic' is just as wrong as assuming similar things about homeschoolers themselves.

What does McKenna, deep down, think about being homeschooled?

(All those dirty little secrets.)
  1. Sometimes I wish I went to public school. Mostly for social aspects; I won't lie, I don't have twenty BFFs: and wouldn't want to. Why should I measure friends by quantity? Isn't quality more important? Sure, I could have fifty friends--and two of them would actually be worth my time. The rest could secretly dislike me, only hang around me for personal gain, etc. There are many people in life who mean something to me: I wouldn't trade them for anything. They may not amount to fifty, but they're all priceless, just the same. Sometimes I wish I had more things to do, socially; that I got invited to more parties, that I went with friends to the movies/dinner/concerts more, etc. But then I realize, if I did all this, when would I have any time to write? To design websites? To read? To generally be myself? I wouldn't. And those things I will never want to trade; those things make me who I am.
  2. My biggest wish would be to go to a prom--but I probably won't, because I wouldn't really know anyone, and it would be kind of awkward, you know? And, being the steadfast traditionally romantic soul that I am, I wouldn't even think of showing up without a date, which is just another complication. And, I've heard so many prom horror stories, I wonder if it's really all it's made out to be? Though I'm still curious, and would like the experience, but oh well. Life goes on, doesn't it? I can still buy pretty dresses; I don't need an excuse. ;)
  3. ...and that's basically it.

The long and short of it is, I'm content and happy with being homeschooled; I know not everyone in this world would be, but that's more than alright. No one is the same, everybody is different and has a different way of living their life: me included.

I've edited this piece several times, adding in newer opinions and clarifications that I've come across as I get older. The original inspiration for this article was a rude, demeaning comment from a girl in a online forum I was involved it; though I know not everyone agrees with my opinions about homeschooling, her words were harsh, critical, and showed absolutely no wisdom on the subject. If she had actually known what she was talking about--having been homeschooled herself, or having tried it, or having had a relative or friend that was homeschooled--I might have been able to pardon her. But that wasn't the case; she knew nothing about what it's really like, and this, though making my temper flare, also saddened me. Why is it so hard for people to understand certain things? Homeschooling isn't a new concept: before there were schools, people and children learned at home all the time; the idea has been around for hundreds (maybe even thousands,) of years.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to get to: when I read what this girl wrote to me, I was disappointed, and felt I needed to make a reply that would hopefully broaden her knowledge and open her mind up, just a little. Of course it didn't; my hopes had been false. Below you can read what I wrote to her, and judge it for yourself.

"It always makes me laugh, because whenever I tell someone I'm homeschooled, they think I'm unsocial or a 'loner'. Well, it's true I don't have 20 friends- but the ones I do have actually matter, and I highly doubt we'll stop being friends when school ends.

Homeschooling doesn't automatically say 'I have no social life'. I myself used to take 3 dance classes, piano lessons, voice lessons, and I would assist for the younger kids' classes on a regular basis.

NONE of the friends I made in those classes are my friends to this day, despite the effort I put into the relationships- I got nothing back, just because it wasn't 'easy' or 'convenient' to see or talk to me. Doesn't that say something?

I think it's kind of sad that people stereotype homeschoolers so badly. We're no different than you- the practice is mostly beneficial for me, because of my personality. I understand that many teenagers and children couldn't survive a homeschooled life, but that has to do with their personality and what they want. It in no way points a finger at me and says that I'm 'unsocial' and that other, public or private schooled kids aren't.

Homeschooling has helped me in many ways. I'm very self-confident; I have incredible relationships with my parents; I know my friends are true ones and won't turn around and stab me in the back or suddenly wish to ignore me; I have developed interests and talents that make me proud and have learned about my special interests and have been able to focus on them more than most high-schoolers can.

Likewise, homeschooling does not automatically make you better than anyone else. The idea that homeschoolers are smarter or more mature than other people is a lie- it's true in some cases, but since everybody is different, it can't apply to everyone. Some public school students are immature, some homeschoolers are; it all depends on the individual's personality, not where they went to/go to school.

I get a lot of flack for being homeschooled, and a lot of ignorant comments from people, and one gets sick of it after awhile, doesn't one? People judge me just based on my schooling- they don't even bother to get to know me first. People just act like know-it-alls when they don't know anything about it at all. If you do have friends/relatives etc. that are homeschooled, and you actually know a little bit about it, then that's different. But most of the negativity I get is from people who are completely in the dark about the subject.

I get a lot of comments from people (on forums, in person, etc.) that can simply be described as ignorant- the rude kind as well as the uniformed kind. People assume I'm a loner, that I have no friends- people assume that I'm some genius/nerd/geek and that I'm a smart-Aleck and think I know better than everyone else. People assume I'm extremely religious. People assume everything about homeschoolers, and I don't believe it's fair. If you've never met or befriended a homeschooler, than I would suggest actually talking to a homeschooler and asking them what it's like, before you type, write, or say what you think you know about the subject.

I've been out at earlier times than high school is let out around here, doing errands with my mom, and people will ask me/us why I'm out so early/don't have school. My mom has always hesitated to say that I'm homeschooled- truth be told, she sometimes fibs just so that she doesn't have to put up with the crap that gets thrown in her direction. The long, confused, disapproving stares. The, 'Oh, that's so nice...' sentence, followed by a long pause. The arrogant homeschooler who proceeds to list all the reasons why we're more lofty or greater than public schoolers. Can you begin to understand why I hate stereotyping? I don't, at all, hate people who do it- but I do hate it in itself.

I'm not saying that, all my life, homeschooling has been a peach. Hah. That's saying like learning in general is easy-as-pie. Yeah. Right. That's completely unrealistic- everybody, at some point in their life, has difficulties with their education, and I'm no different. Sometimes I wish I went to a public school- mainly for social aspects, especially school dances and proms. I think it would be fun to hang out with your friends and have classes together- to experience everything. But I also enjoy it a lot- I can do math problems sitting at my desk with Khonsu, my cat, in my lap, purring away encouraging me. I can sit out on our porch in the sunlight and read my History material. It's a more laid-back atmosphere that suits me as an individual. There are ups and downs- just like with anything.

That really is the truth about homeschooling- at least, I think it is. And I have many, many years of being homeschooled to back me up. (And, both my parents. ;)"

The Conclusion

Everything ends at one point or another, right?

If you actually read through that, I applaud you; since you reached this point in the page, you're obviously interested in homeschooling (or my rants, or you just cheated and scrolled to the end of the page to see if anything was here.) No matter, here are a few informative links with homeschooling tidbits/articles you may find interesting:

Homeschooling Article @ Wikipedia
Read what the lovely Olivia has to say about being schooled at home
Unschooling Article @ Wikipedia
Homeschooling Website (Scotland)
HomeSchool Legal Defence Association (HSLDA)